September. What’s the one thing we most often associate with September? For me, it’s back to school. Along with the darker mornings and evenings. The cooler air. The snotty noses. The rain (it’s raining now as I type!). The arrival of autumn. In other words...change.

Returning to school brings with it a mixed bag of feelings: excitement, relief, apprehension, dread, fear, tiredness, and more besides. For children who have experienced early trauma, these feelings can be even more intense. On the one hand, school can bring relief through the predictability of routine. On the other hand, the uncertainty of a new year group, new classroom, or new teacher can be deeply unsettling. Change is hard for everyone, but for most of us, our prefrontal cortex helps us make sense of past experiences so that we can adjust and manage. For children whose brains have learned to expect danger, however, the unknown can trigger overwhelming feelings of fear and insecurity.

So, what exactly happens in the brain during times of change? In earlier blogs I’ve touched on the comfort of predictability - the brain loves the familiar. When confronted with uncertainty, the brain runs a quick scan of past experiences to predict what might happen next. If a child’s past is filled with moments of fear, threat, or loneliness, then that becomes their reference point. And when the body and brain feel unsafe, we don’t respond with calm reasoning, we act from our survival brain. That means fight, flight, or freeze.

This creates challenges for everyone involved.

Firstly, for the child: School isn’t optional. Even when fear makes it feel unbearable, they are expected to go. And while homeschooling or tuition can be alternatives, they require huge amounts of preparation and ongoing effort. Meanwhile, the fear they carry inevitably shows up in their behaviour.

For teachers: Managing large classes leaves little space for the individualised support children with developmental trauma often need. While awareness of trauma-informed practice is improving, teachers are still frequently under-equipped and unsupported for the scale of the challenge.

And finally, for parents (foster, adoptive, kinship, and others): A child may mask/hold it together all day at school only to release the full force of their emotions at home. The “after-school meltdown” is a familiar volcano, erupting the moment they return to the safety of home.

So how can we make September - and the transition back to school - more manageable? Much of the work begins before the holidays . Carefully planned transitions, opportunities for the child to visit and familiarise themselves with their new environment, and clear information about what to expect can all reduce anxiety. Just as important is the ongoing posture of acceptance and empathy: helping children name and understand their big feelings, while also helping them feel held and supported through them.

Ultimately, back-to-school will never be without challenges, but it doesn’t have to feel like a battle. With preparation, empathy, and a trauma-informed approach, September can become less about survival and more about growth - a chance to build resilience, connection, and hope for the year ahead.

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Back to School: Big Feelings, Big Transitions

When Routine Shifts: Understanding Change from the Inside Out