I’m sure when you hear the word “therapy” a bunch of things spring to mind. Talking. Couches. Challenge. Resistance. Hippy. Change. Journey. I wonder what the first thing is that enters your mind when you hear the phrase “the therapeutic process”? Even as a therapist, when beginning my own therapeutic process, I kind of felt that the therapist might have a magic wand and be able to change everything very quickly. However, from experience, I now know this is not the case. The therapeutic process takes time.

We’ve discussed change many times and how daunting it can feel. But it is safe to say that the change that occurs through the therapeutic process is slow and safe. The process cannot be rushed; it can only move at the pace of the person experiencing it. No matter how much others - sometimes even the therapist - may want to move things along, the process simply will not shift until the individual is ready or at least open to engage.

Generally, there are a number of stages in the process. These differ in length and intensity depending on the individual. And inevitably, each stage brings with it a wave of different emotions. In her book Getting Our Bodies Back: Recovery, Healing, and Transformation through Body-Centered Psychotherapy (1996), Christine Caldwell describes something she calls The Moving Cycle. This outlines some of the stages we move through during a therapeutic process - such as sensing, expressing, releasing, and grounding. Caldwell also emphasises how vital connection with the body is for recovery. So often in trauma, the individual is disconnected from their physical self. Without this connection, it is difficult to embark on any real healing journey. If we cannot feel physically, it is much harder to feel emotionally. Hence her stage of sensing: beginning by noticing what the body is telling us.

In the trauma-based work we do at Popeth, we are becoming increasingly aware of the sensory needs of many of the children we work with. Without certain early experiences, sensory receptors may not be fully developed, making it difficult for a child to identify things that many of us take for granted, such as being hot or cold, full or hungry. Sometimes, physical pain itself is blocked out - perhaps through dissociation - because feeling it once felt overwhelming. Understandably, this can be one of the longer phases of therapy, as the body has to slowly unlearn and relearn what it means to feel. And of course, encouraging someone to tune back into painful sensations can feel counterintuitive. Why would anyone choose pain when ignoring it feels easier?

There is so much more to say about the therapeutic process and the different paths it may take. In fact, one question worth holding is: does the process ever really end? As human beings, we are continually changing, regularly encountering new experiences, and often meeting challenges that test us and help us grow. In this way, therapy doesn’t provide a neat “end point” but rather equips us with a deeper awareness of ourselves and a sturdier capacity to navigate life’s twists and turns.

Perhaps we might think of the therapeutic process as a kind of travelling companion - sometimes a guide, sometimes a mirror, sometimes simply a witness - who joins us for part of the road. And while the therapist may not carry a magic wand, the journey itself often reveals something far more powerful: that change, healing, and growth are possible when we walk at the pace that feels right for us.

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Walking the Therapeutic Process: Why Change Takes Time

Back to School: Big Feelings, Big Transitions