Brushing It Under the Carpet? Why Emotional Awareness Matters

There are many things we might look back on fondly and call “the good old days,” but when it comes to understanding emotions, we are far better informed now than ever before. 

I’ve mentioned before that behaviour is always a form of communication. Let’s take that a step further: behaviour is an expression of emotion. So when people say, “I’m not emotional,” or refuse to acknowledge having feelings at all, we now understand that this simply isn’t true. Emotions may be denied, pushed under the carpet, projected onto others, or tightly contained – but none of that means they aren’t there. 

We are emotional beings, built for connection. The way we connect with others is expressed through feelings, which then show up in our behaviours. For some, this way of thinking can feel overly analytical and may seem to take away from simply “being.” And of course, we can still do that. But having this knowledge can be incredibly helpful, especially for those who struggle to understand where their behaviours come from – particularly when those behaviours feel unwanted and repeatedly lead to difficult consequences. 

Emotional literacy has grown enormously over the last couple of decades. However, our ability to understand and manage emotions depends greatly on our early life experiences and whether we were supported to navigate their complexity. 

When a baby enters the world, they leave the dark, warm space they know and arrive in a cold, bright, ever-changing environment. Most of us can relate to the feelings that come with going somewhere new — the mix of fear and excitement. A helpless baby is entirely reliant on the adults around them, so fear is often the dominant early feeling. The caring adult helps regulate this, offering safety and comfort, which then allows space for other emotions, such as joy, to emerge. The emotional part of the brain is very underdeveloped at birth, making these early years profoundly important in shaping how emotions are understood, experienced, and expressed. 

Of course, it’s important to acknowledge that parenting and caregiving are complex, and most people are doing the best they can with what they have, often while carrying their own experiences, pressures, and unmet needs. We only have to be “good enough”. Many adults were never taught how to understand or manage emotions themselves, so supporting a child in this way may not always feel possible. This isn’t about blame – it’s about understanding. When these early emotional experiences are limited or inconsistent, it can simply mean that later in life emotions feel harder to recognise, sit with, or express. With awareness and support, however, we can continue to learn, grow, and develop these skills at any stage of life. 

Understanding emotions gives us language for our inner world. It helps us make sense of our reactions, build healthier relationships, and respond to challenges with greater awareness and kindness – both for ourselves and others. Emotional knowledge doesn’t take away from living; it enriches it, offering choice where there was once only reaction. 

So next time you feel something stirring inside, will you brush it under the carpet? Or will you pause, recognise it, and wonder what it might be trying to tell you? 

How are you today?

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