Helping Kids Heal Through Connection: Inside the DDP Approach
When it comes to therapy – and, frankly, most things these days – there are so many “buzzwords” floating around that it can feel impossible to keep up, let alone really understand what they mean. Today, I want to take a few minutes to break down one of those terms: the DDP process.
Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP), developed by Dr. Dan Hughes, is a therapeutic approach designed to strengthen the attachment relationship between a key caring adult and a child. It is specifically tailored for children who have experienced trauma, neglect, or disrupted attachment.
When our earliest years are filled with terrifying or overwhelming experiences that leave us feeling helpless, our brains can become conditioned to view the world as a threatening place. People and situations are seen as unpredictable, and the nervous system remains on high alert. For a child, this might show up as being constantly watchful, quick to argue, ready to run or lash out – always in survival mode. Their sensory system and internal belief system process the world through the lens of their past experiences: Nobody helps me, nobody wants me. I must be worthless. Even what seems like a completely ordinary situation can feel unbearable, triggering intense reactions. This, in turn, can leave caring adults drained, frustrated, and at their breaking point.
This is why the DDP process begins with the caring adults. They are holding so much, and their emotional “cups” are often overflowing. They’re expected to use PACE (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy) and therapeutic parenting skills even while struggling to regulate themselves. The first stage of DDP gives them space to feel heard, accepted, and supported in the incredibly challenging – and important – role they play. It helps them reflect on their own emotional triggers and explore where these responses may come from. By understanding our own reactions, we can take things less personally, separate “our stuff” from our child’s, and remain more grounded in the relationship.
Once the caring adult is resourced and supported, they step into the role of co-therapist. When the child joins the process, the adult can offer acceptance and empathy – things that may have felt impossible before. The child begins to feel truly seen and understood by their caregiver. In the therapeutic space, the child is supported in developing safe, trusting relationships, with the focus always on the relationship with their key adult. Emotional safety is built through attuned, responsive interactions, and the skills learned by the adult carry on into everyday life, allowing the healing process to continue well beyond the therapy room.
DDP is not just about helping a child heal; it is about transforming the relationship between a child and their caring adult. By first supporting the adult, then guiding both through attuned, relationship-focused work, DDP creates the safety and connection that children need to begin trusting, relating, and thriving again.
Connection first can help find the missing piece
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