The Weight of Change

Change. 

What a loaded word. 

If you've got a minute, stop and think about how you feel about change. 

Is it an opportunity to see things differently? An opening to new ideas and experiences? Or does it bring a sense of loss; something has come to an end, someone important has moved on? 

Or perhaps it's a feeling of dread. Everything that felt familiar and safe has suddenly disappeared, like a rug being pulled from beneath your feet, and you're left wondering not only what's gone, but what's coming next. 

It could be any, or all, of those things. 

One thing is certain though: our brains like what they know. Familiarity requires less energy, feels more predictable and, ultimately, feels safer. That's one of the reasons change can feel so overwhelming. Suddenly, new neural pathways need to be built. The way you've always done something isn't the way anymore. 

Routines create predictability, and predictability creates a sense of safety. 

Perhaps the way we respond to change is also shaped by our previous experiences. If change has been explained, managed well, made sense of and we've been given time to process it, maybe it doesn't feel quite so daunting. Maybe it even feels exciting. 

But what if change hasn't been handled carefully? What if it left you feeling confused, uncertain, alone or powerless? It's much more likely that future change will trigger a bigger emotional response, alongside behaviours that try to regain some control, perhaps by resisting the change altogether or trying to make it feel predictable again. 

Throughout the year, children experience lots of changes, but the summer holidays may be one of the biggest annual transitions they face. 

Even though it happens every year, the changes are significant. Daily routines disappear. Home life looks different. Some children spend time in holiday clubs, others stay at home with tag-teaming carers. There may be the anticipation of moving into a new year group, a new classroom, a new teacher or, for Year 6 children, an entirely new school. Then they sit with all of that uncertainty for six long weeks. 

Any one of those changes could be enough to overwhelm a child who already finds transitions difficult. Experiencing them all at once can feel enormous. 

If change can affect us as adults, despite having the language and life experience to make sense of it (most of the time!), how much more daunting must it feel for a child? 

Transitions aren't always managed as well as they could be in schools. Sometimes, for a whole host of reasons, transition activities don't happen until the final week of term, when emotions are already running high and there's a great deal of end-of-year excitement and chaos. 

As the adults living and working alongside children, this asks a lot of us. It asks us to meet big behaviours with acceptance and empathy, even when they're difficult to manage. 

And that isn't easy. 

We know that simply saying, "Don't worry," rarely makes anxiety disappear. The uncertainty is still there. The child is still carrying it. 

So perhaps our role isn't to take the anxiety away, because often we can't. 

Perhaps our role is to help make the uncertainty feel less lonely. 

We can prepare where possible, while accepting that we can't prepare for everything. We can keep familiar routines where we can, name what's changing and what's staying the same, validate the feelings that come with uncertainty, and remind children that they don't have to navigate it on their own. 

Because sometimes the greatest gift we can offer isn't certainty. 

It's being the calm, predictable person they can come back to while everything else feels like it's changing. 

Is it a chance, or is it just change?

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