Building Trust, One Moment at a Time: Honouring Adoption
This week marks National Adoption Week, a time to pause and honour everyone who chooses to embark on this deeply meaningful – and often complex – journey. Adoption holds different meanings for different people. Each story is unique, yet there are some common threads that weave through them all.
For many children, the road to adoption has involved experiences of loss, disrupted attachments, and trauma. These experiences shape how they see themselves, others, and the world around them. Then, they are asked to join a new family, one that might already include other children, or one that is just beginning.
Adoptive parents also come to this journey from many different paths. Their motivations and stories vary, but they share a common thread too: the decision to open their hearts and homes to a child who has known loss and uncertainty, and to love and nurture that child through all the ups and downs ahead.
The enormity of this journey for both child and parent cannot be overstated. A child who has struggled to trust may find it hard to believe that this new adult will stay. Many have experienced relational trauma – when the very relationships that were meant to protect them have instead caused hurt. Understandably, this can lead to what we call “blocked trust” – a deep wariness of connection and closeness.
For parents, this can be incredibly painful. To offer love and care that cannot yet be received takes immense patience and resilience. When trust feels too risky, both child and adult can find themselves withdrawing – a kind of emotional self-protection. Just as we avoid physical pain, we instinctively avoid social or emotional pain too. And yet, connection is exactly what brings healing.
Rebuilding trust takes time – and many small, consistent moments of safety and care. It asks for gentleness, persistence, and community. That’s why the village matters so much: those around the family who help hold hope, offer practical and emotional support, and remind everyone that progress often comes in tiny steps.
Finding the connection
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