Why is connection so important? From our very first moments, we are connected — quite literally — to our mothers. The fertilised egg embeds itself into the wall of the womb, and before long, the umbilical cord forms. This vital bond between mother and baby sustains life itself. From the very beginning, we are built for connection.

Throughout our lives, we continue to seek connection in one form or another. This will look different for each of us. For some — especially those who have experienced early trauma — connection can feel confusing or even frightening. Though the longing for closeness remains, it may have been tangled with pain, rejection, or abandonment. Children who feel unsafe in relationships still strive to connect, often in the only ways they know. These patterns may not always seem healthy, but they serve a purpose: to create predictability and a sense of control.

For example, a child who has mostly received negative attention — perhaps through shouting or criticism — might provoke others to elicit that same familiar response. It might not be a positive form of connection, but it’s still connection, and on some level, it meets a deep and natural human need.

Connection is foundational to our wellbeing. During the COVID-19 pandemic, when we were asked to isolate, people instinctively sought ways to stay in touch. When that wasn’t possible, many suffered. Studies from that time show that concerns about people’s mental health often outweighed worries about physical health. When connection is removed, we begin to fade — emotionally, mentally, and even physically.

Modern Western society has, in many ways, drifted from the “village” model — the idea that caring for one another is a shared effort. Many of the families I work with, who are fighting tirelessly for their children’s wellbeing, often feel they must do so alone. We don’t always give ourselves or others the time to pause, listen, and truly empathise. Perhaps we’ve leaned too far into the idea that “every man is an island,” forgetting that our greatest strength lies in community.

Ultimately, connection is not a luxury — it is a lifeline. Whether through a kind word, a shared smile, or a moment of genuine understanding, each connection reminds us that we are not alone. In our shared humanity, we find healing, hope, and the courage to keep going.

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Built for Connection: Finding Strength in Each Other

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