Boredom. How often do you hear a child say, “I’m bored”? And how often do we stop and consider what those words might really mean?

Is boredom actually a thing in itself, or is it the absence of something: stimulation, connection, challenge, energy, purpose?

Boredom is often defined as a psychological state characterised by a lack of interest, stimulation or challenge, leaving a person feeling restless and dissatisfied. It occurs when we have the energy to engage in something but lack either the motivation, the opportunity, or the means to do so.

Perhaps boredom really is a feeling in its own right. But perhaps it also tells us much more than we first realise.

As adults, when a child says, “I’m bored,” what happens in us? Do we immediately think, “I need to find something for them to do”? Do we feel responsible for removing that discomfort? Or can we instead wonder, “I wonder what might emerge here?”

Many of us find boredom deeply uncomfortable. If I’m honest, I certainly do. I become restless, tired, sometimes hungry, and I experience a strong sense of dissatisfaction. I want to escape the feeling rather than stay with it.

So perhaps another question is: how comfortable are we with boredom ourselves?

In therapy, there are certainly times when children tell me they are bored. I could take that personally, but more often I try to think about the meaning behind the words.

Sometimes “I’m bored” appears just as something difficult has surfaced. Perhaps the conversation has become too uncomfortable. Perhaps a feeling has become too big. Sometimes boredom can act as a way of moving away from vulnerability, changing the subject, or regaining a sense of control.

At other times, boredom may be a way of communicating discomfort that cannot yet be put into words. By suggesting that the therapy session is not interesting enough, a child may be able to place some of their difficult feelings outside of themselves and onto the therapist.

Of course, boredom may sometimes simply mean boredom. But often there is much more happening beneath the surface.

When a child says, “I’m bored,” they may be telling us many different things. They may be saying, I feel uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do with myself. This feels too difficult. I need some control. I need you to help me think. I need connection. I need space. The words themselves may stay the same, but the meaning behind them can vary enormously from child to child and from moment to moment. So many things could be happening when a child says those three small words.

Perhaps the next question is not, “What should I do to stop this feeling?” but rather, “What is this feeling trying to tell us?”

And maybe the biggest question of all is this: how do we feel when a child is bored?

Can we tolerate their discomfort without rushing to fix it? Can we remain curious rather than becoming responsible for removing the feeling? Can we trust that, sometimes, within boredom lies creativity, reflection, play, and the opportunity to discover something new?

Can we meet boredom with curiosity rather than correction? With presence rather than solutions? Perhaps when we stay alongside a child in those uncomfortable moments, something new can emerge.

Perhaps boredom is not always a problem to solve. Sometimes it may be an invitation to wonder.

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“I Am Bored!” – Three Words That Make Adults Panic

Birds Fly, Fish Swim, and Children Play